imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom
"what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries"
"your mom eeyyyyyyy"
my favorite compliment i’ve gotten at college was from a drunk frat boy who said i had “the body of the girl of his dreams” then paused and held up a hand to stop me from saying anything and continued “…..but the haircut of the boy of my dreams”
Thats the actual best ever
I mean i have a fashion sense but i don’t have money
Typing is really weird like I’ll be in lowercase typing normally then I hit cAPS LOCK AND I SPEED UP LIKE VROOM VROOM MOTHERFUCKER